I'm faced with the possibility, of my own emotional snobbery
When my self I contemplate, within particular affectionate states
Of my mind that come and go, when considering the me I know
Never mind the disposition, that is my current day condition
I've thought it often over the years, underneath my normal cheer
There always seem to be there lurking, a side of me a bit more curting
Quick to stop any emotion, that does not feel a real devotion
To myself, how to explain, it's not that easy as in saying
I'm doing well, I'm alright, I'll be fine, I like or dislike
It's more concise than merely that, to be honest and matter of fact
I'm not always sure where it arises, or under what it disguises
Other thoughts I ought to think, besides the ones I obviously
Find a way more reasonable that can explain as probable
The simplistic basic me, the one I know enough to be
Even tempered with firm resolve to grow and change as I evolve
From going further than I want to think about or confront
Some random anger or a sadness that borders some one else's madness
About their life or situation to which I have no obligation
Maybe then I'm just more choosey about the conditions I want to be
A part of my own personal being, without the need of explaining
Every single thing I feel, I mean come on, are those things real
To every person on the earth and does that matter to our worth
Self esteem is a personal thing, or is to me as in this frame
Thinking about my self out loud, for others who may think about
Their own seat of emotions, that so many people want to feed on
Every day through all our lives, wanting us to compromise
Our own inner personal thoughts, with their emotions when they're not
Ours in any type of way, although at times we can relate
Via times in our past, but as we learned those did not last
And we grew and set aside, the weaker thoughts lest we abide
In some long gone situation, which no longer requires participation
From our feelings in any way, we all moved on from those days
And had to deal with those back when, we did not have time to mend
All the things that did go wrong, and was told leave well enough alone
Let it heal and scar and fade, so we could live another day
Without the hurt and all the anger, that was a constant present danger
To our souls and to our lives, if we did not learn a way to rise
Above the thoughts that drag us down, to some loathsome world of doubt
That would steal our present days, and cost us more if we stayed
Anywhere with any one, who could not find a way to move on
To a better place in thought and in deed as we are taught
In a future time to see, something better else to be
And to live a life we chose, because we made a choice and rose
Above the lower childish feelings, that kept us from the real dealings
Of our inner beings life, to conquer circumstantial strifes
That steals our peace and ruins our days, in more than one of our ways
When we want to be released, into a life where we live free
From the negative derogatory thinking, of momentary emotional swinging
That cures nothing or no one, and leaves us empty and undone
So to endurance and forbearance I dedicate my life's circumstance
To accept myself as I choose, so that I will never lose
The parts of me that learned and grew, above the places that I knew
Would try to keep me from the total, of the me I wished to be whole
Above all other things that could, rob me of life and all its' good
Jade Jaspers (c)
